Feel like you’re always ending up with the wrong-fits? Dating the wrong people is a waste of your precious time. In this article, Beauty and Tips takes a look at how not to do it anymore.
We’ve all dated at least one wrong person, but it gets seriously annoying when you keep meeting Mr Incompatible. You know what it’s like. Either he seems so right for you, or he seems okay and you think you’d better give him a chance. Or he’s super hot and you can’t bring yourself to say No to him! You want to give them a chance because you don’t want to be left on the shelf. Either way, it always turns out that he’s not right for you. It wastes your time, and can really affect your self-esteem, making you think that you’ll never meet Mr Right. It’s okay, though. There are ways to break this cycle and train your focus on meeting your own Prince Charming – as opposed to the court jesters. Let’s take a look at how to eventually stop dating the wrong people and find you Mr Right.
Listen To Your Gut
How did you feel about the guys you’ve dated in the past? Did you go with your instinct? Or did you bet it agains it? Like it or not, a woman’s intuition is rarely wrong. We might wish it felt differently about something, but it’s much more productive to listen to it and do as it says. If your intuition is telling you that something doesn’t add up about this guy, and that the relationship probably won’t last too long, guess what? It’s probably right. Whatever your gut says, listen to it. It knows what it’s talking about.
Identify What You Want
One of the biggest reasons we end up with the wrong person is because we don’t know what we want. If you don’t know what you want, you may end up with a person who wants something totally different to you. You haven’t identified what you want, but you know it isn’t that. Dating and finding the perfect fit becomes a lot easier when we’re clear about what it is that we want from a relationship and a guy. Before you start talking to another guy, identify what it is that you want from this. Do you want a lover or more of a friend? Are you looking for something long term, or do you just want fun? Where do see yourself in the future, too? Do you want kids at some point? Where do you want to be career-wise? Where do you want a guy to be career-wise?
What’s better? Rushing into a relationship because you’re scared that you might be left on the shelf, despite being unsure about it? Or having some patience, and being prepared to wait for Mr Right? Without patience, we get desperate. And when we get desperate, we end up with the wrong people. Take your time and have some faith that Mr Right will come to you.
Identify Your Values
As well as identifying what you want from this, it’s important that you also spend some time identifying your values. A lot of people don’t do this, but it’s important because it’s our values that guide our decision-making. If you don’t know what’s most important to you, you’ll keep making the wrong decisions – and picking the wrong guys. For example, if health is a number one value of yours, you’ll probably pass when a friend invites you out to a fast food burger joint. Knowing your values means you can make better decisions about how you spend your time, as well as who you spend it with. After all, you’ll be inclined to look for the same values in a romantic partner. But unless you know what your values are, you won’t know what to look for.
Look At His Past
True, we aren’t our past. But a guys past can tell you a lot about who he is as a person. If he’s never been in a long-term relationship, it’s a big sign that he finds it hard to commit. If he’s cheated before, it’s likely that he’ll cheat again. If he hasn’t seen his family for years? Something is up. Before you dive into a relationship, it’s common sense to be vigilant enough to take a look at his past first. This will give you a better insight into who he is exactly.
Stop Going To The Wrong Places
Where do you usually meet guys? In clubs? In bars? On free dating sites? Wherever you meet guys, it’s clearly not working. As such, it’s time to rethink your strategy. Discover new places to meet better guys. Take an evening class, join a paid dating site – think outside the box.
Stop Idealising Him
Ever got into a relationship with someone you wished was a little, well, different? “Ah, he’d be so perfect if only he didn’t smoke.” “He’d be amazing if he was a bit nicer.” “If only he didn’t go out every weekend. Still, I like him all the same, and maybe he’ll change.”
It’s time to stop falling for men who “could be” something else. Trying to change a guy is mostly an exercise in futility. Guys tend to be set in their ways. Instead, it’s a much better idea to date a man who you don’t wish was this or that. You think he’s just great the way he is.
Know What You Stand For
One of the reasons we end up in messy relationships with the wrong guy is that we haven’t identified what we will and will not stand for. Don’t wanna stand for a guy who puts you down? Bail out immediately. Don’t wanna tolerate a guy who’s always late? Bail out. Unless you have a strong sense of self and know what your tolerance levels are, you could end up dating the wrong suitors.