Guys aren’t meant to have insecurities, right? Insecurities are meant for women who aren’t sure whether a guy really likes them, and if he’s just testing the waters before making his move once a prettier girl comes along.
But despite their patriarchal role, their alpha-male mindset and their masculinity, guys do have insecurities. After all, they are human (I know, right??).
This article was actually inspired by a quote I read by actor hunk Robert Pattinson who boldly admitted that he doesn’t like to be seen topless in public because he’s ashamed by his lack of a six pack.
Yup, a Hollywood star was actually admitting his insecurities. And if a Hollywood hunk has insecurities, what does it say about ordinary men all around the world?
Answer: They all have insecurities!
Let’s take a look at the 10 biggest insecurities that guys have.
Your Previous Boyfriends
Before dating your man, it’s likely that you already had a few boyfriends. He knows this, even if you haven’t mentioned them specifically.
But what he really wants to know is how he measures up compared to them.
Is he as good looking? Is he as smart? Is he as charming? Does he have stronger muscles?
Is he better at not burning your toast??
You might not realise it, but guys do worry about such things. They know you’ve obviously enjoyed relationships in the past, but they really want to make sure that you’re enjoying this one more. They’re basically competing with guys they’ve never seen before, and it can make them feel uncomfortable.
Lack Of Achievement
The worst thing you can say to a guy is “I really admire such-and-such because of how successful he is.”
Because your man will start to look at his own lack of achievements. And it might get him down.
Guys are meant to be the breadwinners. They’re the achievers who win at life and impress us with their success.
But if they haven’t got many achievements to speak of, they’re going to feel insecure and threatened by others.
Hair is really important to some women – not just their own, but also the hair on their partner’s head.
Some women will even stipulate that they don’t date bald men on their dating site profile. And this can make guys feel really insecure.
As they get older, lots of guys do experience hair loss. Some experience it in their early twenties, while some are affected in their forties or fifties.
Some experience thinning hair, while others go totally bald.
And for some, finding clumps of hair in the plughole after showering can be very alarming.
Not Being Able To Fix Things
It’s one thing for a guy to not be able to fix something in front of his woman, but it’s made even worse when you ask another man to come over and sort it out. It’s plain embarrassing and makes a man feel inferior and worthless.
While you might think it’s no big deal if you can’t fix a tap, to a guy it’s everything.
Although Wedding Crashers is a pretty wacky comedy, there is a scene that really strikes a chord with me. Bradley Cooper, whose character is a quintessential, misogynistic alpha-male who can’t be seen to have any feelings whatsoever, is throwing up in the toilet when his girlfriend walks in and asks if he’s okay.
Terrified that she’s seen him in a weakened state, he snaps at her.
“It’s okay to be vulnerable,” she says.
Being vulnerable is certainly something a lot of guys struggle with. Given the role of protector and guardian, guys are often uncertain what to do with their feelings. If they open up, they fear it might emasculate them and that we’ll see them differently.
Guys do have feelings, but you have to nurture them. They’re human beings, and sometimes they’re not sure when to suck it up and be a man just like their buddies tell them to, or when to be vulnerable.
Girls like to know the direction they’re heading in and where their future lies. But guys really like to know.
If a man cannot see his future and has no control over his life, he feels super uncomfortable. Uncertainty is no something they do well. They’re supposed to provide security and stability. If they can’t do that, they don’t feel so great.
They Worry They’re Not Enough For Us
Your man wants to please you. He wants to be enough for you. But he doesn’t know if he stimulates you intellectually enough.
He worries that he doesn’t make you laugh enough.
He worries that he’s getting older and losing his hair.
In short, he’s not sure if he’s good enough.
They’re Scared They’ll Lose Us
As well as worrying that he’s not good enough for you, a man will often worry that he’s going to lose you to someone else. This is an insecurity that can turn into jealousy, and which can actually damage a relationship irreparably.
Unfortunately, once a guy begins to worry that he’s going to lose you, it can start to dominate his mind – and consequently his actions. Thus, his insecurities could eventually create the reality that you will actually leave him.
They Need Our Approval
Sometimes, when a guy texts you to tell you that you look pretty, he’s actually fishing for reassurance. He wants you to text him back telling him that he’s handsome, too.
As confident as guys often appear, it sometimes disguises the truth. Guys need reassurance, and they seek it from girls.
Sometimes, for example, a man might go from relationship to relationship in a desperate bid to prove to himself that women still find him desirable.
And as crazy as it might sound, a guy will sometimes date women just to get them to like him. At which point he will move on.
Why? Because he is desperately seeking the approval that he’s attractive and appealing.
Their Height (Or Lack Of It)
Short guys feel terribly insecure about their height. So don’t mention it. Ever