If your relationship feels like it’s falling apart, then the first question you must ask is: ‘Do I want to save this relationship?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, you think that it’s worth saving, then you can begin to analyze what has gone wrong and how you are going to get things back on track. Here are ten tips on how go about the process of mending a broken relationship.
1. Be honest with yourself
The first tip on how to fix a relationship is to take a good, long, hard look at why you are doing this. Do you really want to save this relationship, or are you afraid of being on your own? Be sure that you are trying to save the relationship for the right reasons and not just because you are fearful of change or loneliness.
2. Put old grievances to one side
You are going to have to put the past to one side, if you want to make a go of a failing relationship. If you and your partner keep on resurrecting old disputes and problems, then you will never be able to move forward. You need to treat this like a fresh start.
3. Think through what has gone wrong
Another useful tip on how to fix a relationship is to put your own ill feelings aside and try to think through, logically and calmly, where you think the relationship has gone wrong. Don’t make this a list of things that your partner has done wrong, you need to be constructive about this process. It takes two to tango!
4. Have an honest and open conversation with your partner
It is more than likely that your partner is aware of the problems too, so you should both be able to sit down and talk about it. Let your partner have their say and try to keep the conversation calm. It could hurt both of you to talk about these things, but it’s the only way that you can a start on repairing the relationship.
5. Agree a plan together
Next tip on how to fix a relationship is to agree to work together. It is going to be important that you are both committed to trying to solve the issues. You need to look together at what has not been working and make a plan as to how you are going to stop that happening. Set aside time for working on the issue, and work on it together.
6. Consider counselling
Relationship counselling doesn’t have all the answers, but having a third party to help you to guide the process can be very helpful. Someone who is looking at the problem from the outside may see things that you don’t and they can talk about those problems, without all the emotion.
7. Don’t try and control your partner
Neither one of you will be able to impose your own will on the other. It is important that you agree to make changes together and accept a joint responsibility for a solution. Very rarely is it just one person responsible for the problems in a relationship and you can’t simply force a person to change.
8. Work on finding compromises
Another great tip on how to fix a relationship is to work together to find compromise solutions that both of you will be happy with. You must communicate with each other clearly. No one should be left feeling that they are the loser. This is not about finding a winner or apportioning blame, it is about finding a solution.
9. Call time-out to the fighting
Many people reach the stage where they argue over even the smallest of things. You will both need to learn how to talk calmly and not lose your temper. Agree on a signal that means, if a discussion is leading to a fight, you will both walk away and give it time, before you try again later to resolve that particular issue.
10. Remember why you fell in love in the first place
Remind yourselves of the reasons that you fell in love in the first place and remember the good times that you had. The same two people are still there somewhere; you just need to rediscover them and work out where things went wrong.
How to fix a relationship? What are your tips?